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I had to laugh,this recipe should not be repeated at home,unless you are an idiot. LOL.

 Easy Chicken Recipe
(Can also be applied to DUCK,TURKEY,GEESE.)
 
Here is a chicken recipe that also includes the use of "Popcorn"as a
stuffing--imagine that.When I found this recipe,I thought it was
perfect for people like me,who just are not sure how to tell when
poultry is thoroughly cooked,but not dried out.Give it a try.
 4-5 pound chicken
 1 cup melted butter
 1 cup of stuffing
 1 cup uncooked popcorn
 salt/pepper to taste
 
 Preheat oven to 350 degrees
 Brush chicken well with melted butter salt,and pepper.
 Fill cavity with stuffing mixed with popcorn.

Place in baking pan with the neck end facing toward the back of oven.

listen for the popping sounds.
when the chicken's arse blows the oven door open and the chicken
flies across the room and lands on the table,it's done and ready
to eat.
 
    GOOD LUCK.

Hi !!,this will make you just that little bit smarter than your family and friends at Xmas time,a bit of a Xmas oracle amid your peers. LOL.

There is one Christmas Carol that has always baffled me.

What in the world do leaping lords, French hens,

swimming swans, and especially the partridge who won't come out

of the pear tree have to do with Christmas?

This week, I found out.

From 1558 until 1829, Roman Catholics in England were

not permitted to practice their faith openly. Someone

during that era wrote this carol as a catechism song for young Catholics.

It has two levels of meaning: the surface meaning

plus a hidden meaning known only to members of their church. Each

element in the carol has a code word for a religious reality

which the children could remember.

-The partridge in a pear tree was Jesus Christ.

-Two turtle doves were the Old and New Testaments.

-Three French hens stood for faith, hope and love.

-The four calling birds were the four gospels of Matthew, Mark, Luke & John.

-The five golden rings recalled the Torah or Law, the first five books of the Old Testament.

-The six geese a-laying stood for the six days of creation.

-Seven swans a-swimming represented the sevenfold gifts of the Holy Spirit--Prophesy, Serving, Teaching,  Exhortation, Contribution, Leadership, and Mercy.

-The eight maids a-milking were the eight beatitudes.

-Nine ladies dancing were the nine fruits of the Holy Spirit--Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness,  Faithfulness,  Gentleness, and Self Control.

-The ten lords a-leaping were the ten commandments.

-The eleven pipers piping stood for the eleven faithful disciples.

-The twelve drummers drumming symbolized the twelve points of belief in the Apostles' Creed.

So there is your history for today. This knowledge was shared with me and I found it interesting and enlightening and now I know how that strange song became a Christmas Carol...so pass it on if you wish.'

Merry (Twelve Days of) Christmas Everyone

 I haven't posted since October,so I guess you could say I'm a bit slack.LOL.Since my last post I've been in and had an operation on my neck,and apart from a long scar,every thing is A--Okay.I had this E-Mailed to me the other day,and thought I would like to share it with you lot.Just think,if we learn the song,we can all sit around the gum tree on a warm and barmy night,singing this song,and driving the neighbours crazy.So!!!here are the words to this old favourite.

 To commemorate her birthday , actress/vocalist, Julie Andrews made a special appearance at  Manhattan 's  Radio   City   Music Hall for the benefit of the AARP.   One of the musical numbers she performed was 'My Favorite Things'  from the legendary movie 'Sound Of Music'.   Here are the lyrics she used: 
  

  
 (Sing It!  - If you sing it, its especially hysterical!!!)   
 
Botox and nose drops and needles for knitting, 
Walkers and  handrails and new dental fittings, 
Bundles of magazines tied up in string, 
  These are a few of my favorite things. 

Cadillacs and cataracts, hearing aids and glasses, 
Polident and Fixodent and false teeth in glasses, 
Pacemakers, golf carts and porches with swings, 
  These are a few of my favorite things. 

When the pipes leak, When the bones creak, 
 When the knees go bad, 
I simply remember my favorite things, 
     And then I don't feel so bad. 

Hot tea and crumpets and corn pads for bunions, 
No spicy hot food or food cooked with onions, 
Bathrobes and heating pads and hot meals they bring, 
    These are a few of my favorite things. 

Back pain, confused brains and no need for sinnin', 
Thin bones and fractures and hair that is thinnin',   
And we won't mention our short shrunken frames, 
  When we remember our favorite things. 

When the joints ache, When the hips break, 
     When the eyes grow dim, 
 Then I remember the great life I've had, 
      And then I don't feel so bad. 
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >> > 
Ms. Andrews received a standing ovation from the crowd that lasted over four minutes and repeated encores. Please share Ms. Andrews' clever wit and humour with others who would appreciate it!

 Well!! it's my birthday on Tuesday,the 6th of October,so here's a bit of October history for you.

Moments in History this Month: October

October 1, 1993: The TELEGRAM delivery service ceased in Australia.

October 2, 1984: Sony’s DISCMAN was launched.

October 3, 1984: TIM MCCARTNEY-SNAPE and GREG MORTIMER became the first Australians to climb Mt Everest

October 4, 1990: The ADELAIDE CROWS were officially admitted into the AFL.

October 5, 1990: Sydney’s DAILY MIRROR and Melbourne’s HERALD newspapers were published for the final time.

October 6, 1930: Cricket legend and commentator RICHIE BENAUD was born in Penrith.

October 7, 1954: Computer giant IBM demonstrated the first calculator.

October 8, 2004: SCHAPELLE CORBY was arrested in Bali with possession of 41kg of marijuana allegedly concealed in her bodyboard bag.

October 9, 1973: The $50 BANK NOTE was introduced in Australia.

October 10, 1774: CAPT JAMES COOK landed on NORFOLK ISLAND, then uninhabited.

October 11, 1852: The UNIVERSITY OF SYDNEY opened becoming Australia’s first University.

October 13, 1933: Australia’s first TRAFFIC LIGHTS were switched on in Sydney.

October 14, 1912: THEODORE ROOSEVELT, US President was shot in the chest. He was saved by his thick coat and a bundle of paper in his breast pocket. Despite the shooting he continued with his scheduled speech.

October 15, 1970: The WESTGATE BRIDGE collapsed in Melbourne killing 35 bridge workers.

October 16, 1907: The SURF LIFE SAVING ASSOCIATION OF AUSTRALIA was formed.

October 17, 1974: Singer OLIVIA NEWTON-JOHN made Number 1 on the US album chart for the first time with “If You Love Me, Let Me Know”.

October 18, 1867: The UNITED STATES bought ALASKA from Russia for $7.2 million.

October 19, 1895: BANJO PATERSON’S The Man From Snowy River was published.

October 20, 1973: The SYDNEY OPERA HOUSE was opened by Queen Elizabeth II.

October 21, 1879: The ELECTRIC LAMP was invented by Thomas Edison.

October 22, 1960: Muhammad Ali then known as CASSIUS CLAY fought his first professional bout in Louisville, Kentucky.

October 23, 1995: Pay television provider FOXTEL began its cable TV service.

October 24, 1980: Sir PAUL MCCARTNEY received a Guinness Book Of World Record for becoming the wolrd’s all-time best-selling songwriter.

October 25, 1955: The MICROWAVE OVEN went on sale for the first time.

October 26, 1970: PADDED BAG (or jiffy bag) was made available through Australian Post offices.

October 27, 1728: Captain JAMES COOK was born in Yorkshire, England. He died in 1779 aged 51.

October 28, 1968: Australia’s twice daily MAIL DELIVERIES by suburban posties ceased.

October 29, 1982: LINDY CHAMBERLAIN was wrongly sentenced to life imprisonment for the murder of her 9-week-old baby Azaria.

October 30, 1965: UK model PEGGY SHRIMPTON made headlines when she wore a mini skirt with no stockings, hat or gloves at Derby Day at Melbourne’s Flemington racecourse.

October 31, 1993: AUSTRALIAN AIRLINES became officially known as QANTAS.

I occasionaly visit this site,but I haven't posted  since June. When I was active early on in the year,this site used to "hum" with everyone interacting with each other,plus welcoming any new members to the discussions if they felt in the mood.People actually talked on here ,but I've noticed since the regulares have left,it's become simular to a ghost town.

 Everyone here seems to be in a rut,their fingers flat out typing,and saying what they want to say,"to be heard" but not willing to comment on other people's blogs. (thus,no comunication what so ever).If you go through your view window,you will see at the most 4 comments on view. More than likely from friends or family.

 To me,it's so sad to see this.Why not try to put a comment on the other blogs,and see what happens.Just maybe,it might open a few ideas that can be swapped amongst each other. if not,just keep typing,and keep to yourselves.

 I'll be dropping in every now and again,to see what happens. Don't dissapoint me folks,have a go.

  Despite what we read in the media that smoking,a main contributor
towards cancer has lessened in todays society.I think the last time
that I seen a report,it stated that there were only about 18% of the
Australian population still smoking.But,compared to 30 years ago when
the deaths from Cancer was 1 person in 30,it now stands at a ratio of
1 person in 3. This doesn't add up,if what they told us was the truth.
   Is this just another case of media scare tactics,put out by the
governments and medical quacks to achieve their own purpose,and make
themselves feel important,GEEE'S! I just don't know.This leaves me
to ask,how poisonous is the food,air or things we handle???and what
is being done to treat the poisons,??if there are any.When I mention
the things we handle,I mean,garden products and kithen cleaners and
such.Even the family car comes under notice,with all the plastic that
gives of gasses when in the sun for long periods.
   I'm "Dying" to know the answers to all these questions,if there
are any. See you people,Bye!!

  Dear Mr. Swann,
 
Please find below my suggestion for fixing Australia’s economy.
 Instead of giving billions of dollars to banks and financial institutions
 that will squander the money
 on lavish parties and un-earned bonuses, as they already have...feel free
 to use the following plan:
 
You can call it the Patriotic Retirement Plan:
 
There are about 7 million people over 50 in the work force. - Pay them 2
 million apiece severance for early
retirement with the following stipulations:
 
1) They MUST retire....result: 7 million job openings - Unemployment
 fixed.
 
2) They MUST buy a new Australian Built CAR....result: 7 million cars
 ordered - Car Industry fixed.
 
3) They MUST either buy a house or pay off their mortgage and credit
 cards....result: Housing Crisis fixed - National debt disappears.
 
4) They MUST send their kids to school / college /university....result:
 Idle kids off the street - Crime rate fixed.
 
5) Buy $50 of alcohol and / or tobacco a week, there's your money back in
 duty / tax etc....we will then donate
 it to charity, they can then sell it cheap to wino’s and homeless
 people, who are already the victims of your
 policies on financial well being, property investment, and
 superannuation investment strategies.
 
It can't get any easier than that!
 *NOTE* If more money is needed, have all members of parliament pay back
 their falsely claimed expenses
 and second home allowances. If you think this would work,
 please forward to everyone you know.
 If not, enjoy your retirement...you must be a politician.!

 After giving this a lot of thought, and considering my age,I came to this conclusion. "YES","YES", and an even bigger bloody,"YES".

 Had a read of Doug's blog this morning and he was congratulating Lonz on the popularity of his blog,and quite rightly so. I commented on Dougs,and congratulated him and Lonz,but added that I've never worried about winning the popularity stakes here,and have been happy enough just been able to blog and join everyone else in coversational topics. Later on I thought to go and have a look at different blogs,to see where everyone was. Well!!myself I can't just go and look at things,as I always have this urge to question things. So out camethe calculator,and I went to work with some surprising results.

 Now,I want you to correct me if I'm wrong,but here are some,myself included.Ha,Ha,Chuckle,chortle.

 GROTTY,>>18732 views,from 52 posts. Divided=36 views per blog.

Doug,>>197121 views,from 41 posts,divided=417.6 views per blog

 Myself,>>62216 views,from 92 posts,divided=676 views per blog,(PHEW)

 Bev,>>36382 views,from 139 posts.divided=262 views per blog

 Lonz>>700269 views,from 291 posts.divided=(GRUNT) 2046. views per blog.That one was heavy,

  So now you can guess why I never take much notice of statistics,and just get on with mixing with you lot and enjoying myself.

 See you,everyone.

  Have you noticed how some of the worlds greatest inventions come
come from the most unusual circumstances.Noe take me for instance,
a few years ago a bunch of us had been out for a bit of a night
out ,and were trying to get home,as about 30 other drinkers were
doing.So here we are at the local cab rank waiting for a taxi that
never seems to come,you know the situation,as I've no doubt that we
have all had that happen to us.(They are probably hiding around the
 corner,drawing straws to see who next to have to clean the taxi out
after us retrobates have been in there)
 Anyway,we're standing there shivering from the cool night air,when
Charlie,(Mud Guts)starts making these strange whimpering noises,that
drew every ones attention to him.Then he starts doing these funny
litle "Bunny Hops" up and down on the spot and looking directly at
the "Taxi sign post"whilst it looked like he was playing with him-
self,much to the amusement of every one there.
 I'm looking at Charlie,as were the other 29 people,and I said;
"Charlie,you're not,NO!!!not here."I could see by now he was just
reaching that desperate stage,because of the tears that were now
starting to form in his eyes.It looked like the beer was starting
to come out of his head from drinking too much.All charlie could 
say is "I got to go,I gotta go"So I'm yelling,"hang on mate"as I
whip out the phone and start to ring (PORTA LOO)Their sign is on
the wall of the cab rank,with a after hours number for emergencies
  After 2 attempts,this sleepy voice comes on the phone,and I
 start telling him where we are,and ask how long before he could
get one around to the rank.I wasn't sure what this "JERK" said.
because I couldn't hear him with everyone laughing.Anyway,by now
Charlies showing signes of bursting the dam walls,as the tears
were now cascadeing down his cheek,so a couple of us ushered him
around the corner out of sight.and found a nice little rose
garden.(I hear roses are a bit partial to acidic soil)so it
probably did them the world of good. All in all,it turnrd out a
pretty good night.
 Which takes me back to what I first started writting about,"How
great inventions are born"After thinking about it over the next
few weeks,I came up with a rather sketchy Idea.Why not have an
emergency service for these occasions.Something that could be
there in a relatively short time,or even have a fleet of them
parked out side of the Pubs and Clubs after hours,like the old
"Hot Dog Stands" of yesteryear that we used to see.It doesn't
have to be to elaborate,probably an old rusty ute for the
summer months,and a pannel van for the winter,with a little
place on the back.And for the name,how does "PEE IN MY POCKET
MOBILE NIGHT CART" sound to everyoe.
  Of cause the main thing every one should realise,is I'm only
joking. See you.

 Anyway I've said my piece and had my fun,so I'm of to the hospital to sign myself in for another Month.

Bye.

It's not the same anymore on here, where as back before February this
year before the blog gave us all that trouble that took close on three
months to rectify.Before then it was a lot of fun communicating with
every one and any one who wanted to put their 5 cents worth in.And
more often than not the communication was great between bloggers,SAD!
as it maybe it's a thing of the past now. With the new, and some of
of the old ones,who don't seem to care about communicating, that
 special bonding that went on is now deceased.On these pages now you
do not expect an answer to your comment,if you feel like saying anything
at all,I personally do not feel like wasting my time placing a commment
these days,as it's to much effort and time to wast on this sort of
response. But that's just how I feel at the moment
 I followed a suggestion from BEV,to look at "Experience Projects" on
the web,which I did,and I now spend up to 2 to 3 hours a day browsing
the blogs and questions that are there.Again it's sort of impersonal
like the pond,but more fun reading the input,with the occasional smart
arse comments that go with it.
 With only 3 months to go with my contract,I'm seriously thinking of
dumping Telstra,and the blog when that time comes,and moving on. I'm
paying $59 a month at the moment to get the 12 giga bites that is
needed to blog comfortabley,with out incuring penalties.So if I can
find cheaper rates,well so be it.
 How does everyone else feel about what I've posted or are you happy
with the situation as it stands.
  Take care,Keith.

On the news lately they ask,"Are we a nation of racists".When I read
or hear this on the media I try to read between the lines on how they
present it to the public.It is a fact that here in parts of Australia
we are experiencing major problems with this report on racial violence,
 but,and I stress the word "But" the trouble is not coming from the (Main
 stream Australians) who are very tolerant to the migrants.(apart from
 the Cronulla riots) The trouble is coming from these very people whome
 we welcome to our shores,eg,Vietanese,Lebonese and Indians with the
 Islanders wanting to fight everyone. Is it any wonder that the
main strean Australians are getting fed up with this whole load of
Multi-cultureism SHIT.Enough is enough. 

  Good manners,do you exercise this in your life and expect it back,
or do you expect that todays society lack manners and let it pass
without saying something to repremand these rude,ignorant A-Soles
that cross your path in life.
  For starters, it's only mild,but when you post, and someone takes
 the time to answer,do you respond to their comment,to acknowledge
 their comment,or are you one of these IGNORANT pricks that can't
be bothered.
 It's not only here but in every thing we do in converse and
 communication,on the phone,and dealing direct with people.These
a-soles are so full of themselves,it makes you want to join them,
and be one yourself. (Use your fists to do the talking) I say.

Maybe I'm wrong,who knows.

 This one even had my old "Maiden Aunt" smiling,so here goes.

  Even i got the last seven questions wrong lol
 
> A first-grade teacher, Ms. Brooks, was having trouble with
> one of her students

  The teacher asked, 'Harry,> what's your problem?'
>
> Harry answered, 'I'm too smart for the 1st grade.
> My sister is in the 3rd grade and I'm smarter han she
> is! I think I should be in the 3rd grade too!'
>
> Ms. Brooks had had enough. She took Harry to the
> principal's office.
>
> While Harry waited in the outer office, the teacher
> explained to the principal what the situation was. The
> principal told Ms. Brooks he would give the boy a test. If
> he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back
> to the 1st grade and behave. She agreed.
>
> Harry was brought in and the conditions were explained to
> him and he agreed to take the test.
>
> Principal:  "What is 3 x 3?"
>
> Harry: "9."
>
> Principal: "What is 6 x 6?"
>
> Harry: "36."
>
> And so it went with every question the principal thought a
> 3rd grader should know.
>
> The principal looks at Ms. Brooks and tells her, "I
> think Harry can go to the 3rd grade."
>
> Ms. Brooks says to the principal, "Let me ask him some
> questions."
>
> The principal and Harry both agreed.
>
> Ms. Brooks asks, "What does a cow have four of that I
> have only two of?"
>
> Harry, after a moment: "Legs."
>
> Ms Brooks: "What is in your pants that you have but I
> do not have?"
>
> The principal wondered why would she ask such a
> question!
>
> Harry replied: "Pockets."
>
> Ms. Brooks: "What does a dog do that a man steps
> into?"
>
> Harry: "Pants."
>
> The principal sat forward with his mouth hanging open.
>
> Ms. Brooks: "What goes in hard and pink then comes out
> soft and sticky?"
>
> The principal's eyes opened really wide and before he
> could stop the answer, Harry replied, "Bubble
> gum."
>
> Ms. Brooks: "What does a man do standing up, a woman
> does sitting down and a dog does on three legs?"
>
> Harry: "Shake hands."
>
> The principal was trembling.
>
> Ms. Brooks: "What word starts with an 'F' and
> ends in 'K' that means a lot of heat and
> excitement?"
>
> Harry: "Firetruck."
>
> The principal breathed a sigh of relief and told the
> teacher, "Put Harry in the fifth-grade, I got the last
> seven questions wrong....."

 Well the weekends over,so it's back to work for all those lovely people so that they can earn a wage and pay tax's,so that myself and the politicians can lead the lifestyle that we're accustom to. The "Polliees"trips overseas,new cars,rent free lodging,ETC.

 Me!!! A trip into town to buy what grocery's that I can affordOH!!! I forgot to mention my Over seas trips,(ccc's)Falling over the Cat,Couch,or Carpet. Not necessarly in that order,He,He.

  Anyway,that's not what this post's about. It's about not underestimating the powers of Mothers perception. So here it is. Enjoy.

 Subject: TOO CUTE

HAVING MOM OVER FOR DINNER
   
    You don't even have to be a mother to enjoy this one.
   
    Brian i nvited his mother over for dinner. During the course of the
    meal, Brian's mother couldn't help but notice how beautiful Brian's
    'roommate', Jennifer was. Brian's Mom had long been suspicious of a
    relationship between Brian and Jennifer, and this had only made her
    more curious.
   
    Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she
    started to wonder if there was more between Brian and Jennifer than
    met the eye.
   
    Reading his mom's thoughts, Brian volunteered, 'I know what you must
    be thinking, but I assure you Jennifer and I are just roommates.'
   
    About a week later, Jennifer came to Brian saying, 'Ever since your
    mother came to dinner, I've been unable to find the beautiful silver
    gravy ladle. You don't suppose she took it, do you?'
   
    Brian said, 'Well, I doubt it, but I'll send her an email just to be sure.
   
    So he sat down and wrote:
   
    ___________________________________
   
    Dear Mom ,
   
    I'm not saying that you 'did' take the gravy ladle from the house,
   
    I'm not saying that you 'did not' take the gravy ladle.
   
    But the fact remains that one has been missing ever since you were
    here for dinner.
   
    Love , Brian
   
    ___________________________________
   
    Several days later, Brian received an email back from his mother that read:
   
    ___________________________________
   
    Dear Son,
   
    I'm not saying that you 'do' sleep with Jennifer , I'm not saying that
    you 'do not' sleep with Jennifer .
   
    But the fact remains that if Jennifer is sleeping in her own bed, she
    would have found the gravy ladle by now.
   
    Love, Mom
   
    ___________________________________
 

  YOU CAN'T DO THIS TO ME, MY LITTLE "FOXY LADY" And i'm not "YELLING". We still love you,at least I do. So come on over here and let me scratch your back.(With a back scratcher,of coarse) Don't let us down Sassy. And take care...Keith.

  I hope this lightenes up the weekend for everyone who reads it.

  See if you can do this:

Read each line aloud:

This is this cat

This is is cat

This is how cat

This is to cat

This is keep cat

This is a cat

This is dumbass cat

This is busy cat

This is for cat

This is forty cat

This is seconds cat

Now go back and read the THIRD word in each line from the top... I bet you can't resist passing it on!

SEND THIS TO A FRIEND

 I borrowed this from another source,but found it interesting reading.A lot of my friends don't smoke,but they don't carry on like "Prima Donna's"if someone lights up near them,and that's why they still remain close friends.Anyway have a read and judge for yourself.

 O ne of my essay's from English class two years ago (with that being said, the info might be slightly date).  She really loved the content, and the purpose of it was basically me lashing back 'cause I'm sick and tired of having 'truth.com' and anti-smoking propaganda shoved down my throat:  (this version has been edited down a bit, and is no longer considered to be in essay form.  Also, the citations are no longer presented, nor noted; if you want the sources, ask)

Everyone ******* about smoking. 'Smoker's rights' this, and 'clean-air lovers' that. Not many realize the benefits of smoking. Though elitarian in the tax and financial aspects, there are benefits to smoking cigarettes:

In a 1991 study by epidemiologists and others, Alzheimer's disease was reduced in frequency as high as %50 in smokers compared to non-smokers. The reason being that nicotine protects brain cells from being destroyed, and it stimulates the brain receptors due to it's similarities to acetylcholine.

The Journal of the American Medical Association and the New England Journal of Medicine states smokers have %30 less risk of colon cancer, %50 less risk of ulcerative colitis, Parkinson's disease, and Endometrial Cancer (a disease of the uterus for women).
Other suggested (but not clinically or statistically proven yet to explicitly coincide with smoking) benefits include: lower rates of the lung disorders sarcoidosis and allergic alveolities.

On average smokers are often lighter, this being a slight conflict since smoking is thought to exacerbate cardiovascular disease, the leading cause of which is obesity. Also, while smoking does temporarily raise blood pressure and heart rate immediately following a drag, which in turn raises alertness, dexterity, and cognitive capacity; nicotine is classified as an "amphoteric", meaning it can act to counter either conditions of excitability, or depression.

And then the social economic benefits of a smoking population:
First and foremost, smokers pay dearly to offset their expenses; in Ontario, a pack-a-day smoker pays over $547 in additional taxes every year, a Newfoundlander, $1510. A study by the Rand Corporation found that the 'net external' cost of a pack of cigarettes is 33 cents, while federal and local taxes total more than 50 cents per pack (this information may not be up to date). The community gets far ahead financially from its smokers. In the grand scale of society, the fact that smoking kills is a boon to economies. When society loses a person of thirty, say, due to a car accident, it loses a likely net contributor, taxes and pension contributions are forgone, and society may even have to provide support for his or her school-age children. When society loses a fifty-five or sixty-five-year-old due to a smoking related illness, there is probably no significant comparable economic loss. Most smokers who die of a smoking related illness fall ill during or right at the point of transforming from a net contributor to a net consumer of society's health, geriatric, and pension services. One noted economist, John Shoven, estimates that in 1989, the premature deaths by smoking related illnesses saved the United State's treasury $20,000 per smoker in social security benefits alone.
On one grand scale in the Czech Republic, a total analysis was compiled. 100-million pounds sterling ($140-million) was saved per year due to the premature death of smokers; and in totality the government saved up to 21.5-million pounds sterling on health care, pension and housing for elderly in 1999. That figure included calculating costs spent on caring for people with smoking related illnesses and income tax lost when smokers die. Overall net profit made by the government in 1999 by premature death due to smoking related illnesses: 102.3 million pounds sterling.

So we all know about the harm and dangers of smoking, it has been constantly shoved down our throats, and rightly so; smoking is dangerous, it does cause cancers, disease, and premature death; no amount of benefits counters that. Despite this, smokers will still smoke. I just thought people should be more aware that there are actual advantages to smoking.

  George Carlin on age102.
  (Absolutely Brilliant)
 
IF YOU DON'T READ THIS TO THE VERY END, YOU HAVE LOST A DAY IN YOUR LIFE. AND WHEN YOU HAVE FINISHED, DO AS I AM DOING AND SEND IT ON.
 
George Carlin's Views on Ageing
 
Do you realise that the only time in our lives when we like to get old is when we're kids? If you're less than 10 years old, you're so excited about ageing that you think in fractions.
 
  'How old are you?' 'I'm four and a half!' You're never thirty-six and a half. You're four and a half, going on five! That's the key
 
  You get into your teens, now they can't hold you back. You jump to the next number, or even a few ahead.
 
  'How old are you?' 'I'm gonna be 16!' You could be 13, but hey, you're gonna be 16! And then the greatest day of your life .... . You become 21. Even the words sound like a ceremony. YOU BECOME 21. YESSSS!!!
 
But then you turn 30. Oooohh, what happened there? Makes you sound like bad milk! He TURNED; we had to throw him out. There's no fun now, you're Just a sour-dumpling. What's wrong? What's changed?
 
  You BECOME 21, you TURN 30, then you're PUSHING 40. Whoa! Put on the brakes, it's all slipping away. Before you know it, you REACH 50 and your dreams are gone.
 
But wait!!! You MAKE it to 60. You didn't think you would!
 
  So you BECOME 21, TURN 30, PUSH 40, REACH 50 and MAKE it to 60.
 
  You've built up so much speed that you HIT 70! After that it's a day-by-day thing; you HIT Wednesday!
 
  You get into your 80's and every day is a complete cycle; you HIT lunch; you TURN 4:30 ; you REACH bedtime. And it doesn't end there Into the 90s, you start going backwards; 'I Was JUST 92.'
 
  Then a strange thing happens. If you make it over 100, you become a little kid again. 'I'm 100 and a half!'
  May you all make it to a healthy 100 and a half!!
 
HOW TO STAY YOUNG
 
1. Throw out nonessential numbers. This includes age, weight and height. Let the doctors worry about them. That is why you pay 'them'
 
  2. Keep only cheerful friends. The grouches pull you down.
 
  3. Keep learning. Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening, whatever. Never let the brain idle. 'An idle mind is the devil's workshop.' And the devil's name is Alzheimer's.
 
4. Enjoy the simple things.
 
  5. Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.
 
  6. The tears happen. Endure, grieve, and move on. The only person, who is with us our entire life, is ourselves. Be ALIVE while you are alive.
 
  7. Surround yourself with what you love , whether it's family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever. Your home is your refuge.
 
  8. Cherish your health: If it is good, preserve it. If it is unstable, improve it. If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.
 
  9. Don't take guilt trips. Take a trip to the mall, even to the next county; to a foreign country but NOT to where the guilt is.
 
  10. Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity.
 
AND ALWAYS REMEMBER :
  Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.
 

 There's a lot of truth in what this man says.I,myself have had these thoughts at different stages in my life,and maybe you have too. Who knows,but yourself.

 See you,and take care..>>> Keith.

  This might be a bit long,but the end result is still the same here in Australia. So what do you think!.

  ubject: How many zeros in a billion??? (Interesting Stuff)

How many zeros in a billion???

This is too true to be funny...

The next time you hear a politician use the word 'billion' in a casual manner, think about whether you want the 'politicians' spending YOUR tax money.

A billion is a difficult number to comprehend, but one advertising agency did a good job of putting that figure into some perspective in one of its releases..

A. A billion seconds ago it was 1959..

B A billion minutes ago Jesus was alive.

C A billion hours ago our ancestors were living in the Stone Age.

D A billion days ago no-one walked on the earth on two feet.

E. A billion dollars ago was only
8 hours and 20 minutes, at the rate our government is spending it.

While this thought is still fresh in our brain... let's take a look at New Orleans .... It's amazing what you can learn with some simple division.

Louisiana Senator, Mary Landrieu (D) is presently asking Congress for
250 BILLION DOLLARS to rebuild New Orleans ... Interesting number... what does it mean?

A Well... if you are one of the 484,674 residents of New Orleans
(every man, woman, and child) you each get $516,528.

B Or... if you have one of the 188,251 homes in New Orleans , your home gets $1,329,787.

C.. Or... if you are a family of four... your family gets$2,066,012.

Imagine, now $700 billion bailing out banks in the US . That's enough to fund complete medical care for every man, woman and child currently alive in the US for 11 years!!
50 billion to bail out the auto industry??? Washington , D.C. & Ottawa ON . < HELLO!!!> Are all your calculators broken??

Accounts Receivable Tax,

Building Permit Tax, 

CDL License Tax, 

Cigarette Tax,

Corporate Income Tax, 

Dog License Tax, 

Federal Income Tax ,

Federal Unemployment Tax, (FUTA)

Fishing License Tax,

Food License Tax,

Fuel Permit Tax,

Gasoline Tax,

Hunting License Tax,

Inheritance Tax,

Inventory Tax,

IRS Interest Charges (tax on top of tax),

IRS Penalties (tax on top of tax),

Liquor Tax,

Luxury Tax,

Marriage License Tax,

Medicare Tax, Property y Tax,

Real Estate Tax,

Service charge taxes,

Social Security Tax,

Road Usage Tax (Truckers),

Sales Taxes,

Recreational Vehicle Tax,

School Tax,

State Income Tax,

State Unemployment Tax (SUTA),

Telephone Federal Excise Tax,

Telephone Federal Universal Service Fee Tax upon Tax,

Telephone Federal, State and Local Surcharge Tax,

Telephone Minimum Usage Surcharge Tax,

Telephone Recurring and Non-recurring Charges Tax,

Telephone State and Local Tax,

Telephone Usage Charge Tax,

Utility Tax

Vehicle License Registration Tax ,

Vehicle Sales Tax,

Watercraft Registration Tax,

Well Permit Tax,

Workers Compensation Tax,

Income Tax,

Everything Tax,

or even NSW Taxes,

STILL THINK THIS IS FUNNY???

Not one of these taxes existed 100 years ago... and our nation was the most prosperous in the world.

We had absolutely no national debt... We had the largest middle class in the world.. and Mum stayed home to raise the kids.

What happened ??? Can you spell 'politicians!' ???

And I still have to press '1' for English.

I hope this goes around the US & CANADA orAUSTRALIA at least 1 billion times

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 I hope it sinks in to our memories.

  One day a florist goes to a  barber for a haircut. After the cut he asked about his bill and the  barber replies, 'I cannot accept money from you. I'm doing community service this week.'  The florist was pleased and  left the shop.

When the barber goes to open his shop the next morning there is a 'thank you' card and a dozen roses  waiting for him at his door.  

Later, a policeman comes in for a haircut, and when he tries to pay his bill, the barber again replies, 'I  cannot accept money from you. I'm doing community service this week.' The policeman is happy and leaves the shop. 

The next morning when the  barber goes to open up there is a 'thank you' card and a dozen doughnuts  waiting for him at his door.   

Later that day, a college  professor comes in for a haircut, and when he tries to pay his bill, the  barber again replies, 'I cannot accept money from you. I'm doing community service this week.' The professor is very happy and leaves the shop.  

The next morning when the  barber opens his shop, there is a 'thank you' card and a dozen different  books, such as  'How to Improve Your Business' and 'Becoming More Successful.'

Then, a Member of Parliament comes in for a haircut, and when he goes to pay his bill the barber again replies, 'I  cannot accept money from you.. I'm doing community service this week.'  The Member of Parliament is very happy and leaves the shop.  

The next morning when the barber goes to open up, there are a dozen Members of Parliament lined up waiting for a free haircut.  

And that, my friends,  illustrates the fundamental difference between the citizens of our country and  the Members of Parliament.   Vote carefully next time!   

                                                 Have a wonderful Day

 Here's me worrying about a little bit of swine flu,what about
 poor little piglet,He,He,He.

  Winney the Pooh and piglet were wandering through the snow on
their way home,and Piglet grinned and thought to himself,how
lucky he was to have a best friend like Pooh.
 Pooh on the other hand thought to himself;"if that pig sneezes
I'll kill the little "Shit".
 

  And if you liked that,Ill let you hear my prayer for each day.

  DEAR LORD:
 So far today,I'm doing all right,I have not gossiped,lost my
temper,been greedy,grumpy,nasty selfish,or self-indulgent.I have
not whined,complained,cursed,or eaten any wrong foods.
  I have not indulged in drinking alcohol,or drank any coffee,
 "BUT">>>>sooner or later,I will have to get out of bed,and
then things might change.
 

  Do you vote,or have to deal with Government departments,or life in general.Because this is something that I've noticed that sadly a lot of us don't have much understanding of. It is a case of,think,before you react,to see what the end result will be.

  AN OBITUARY PRINTED IN THE LONDON TIMES

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.

He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as: Knowing when to come in out of the rain; why the early bird gets the worm; Life isn't always fair; and maybe it was my fault.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge).
 
His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.
 
Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer sun lotion or an aspirin to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.
 
Common Sense lost the will to live as the churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims.

Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.
 
Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.
 
Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents Truth and Trust, by his wife Discretion, his daughter Responsibility, and his son Reason.
 
He is survived by his 4 stepbrothers;
I Know My Rights.
I Want It Now.
Someone Else Is To Blame.
I'm A Victim.
 
Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing.
 

Read this and try and bring common sense back into our lives>>>>Keith. 

  I have a question,and that is "Are we voting right"??, or are we voting for a member in our local community,who promises us untold things that we'll get, if we vote for his party, and that never happens. How many times in our lives have we gone to the poll's,and voted for one of the two major party's?,only to find out that they lied. Have you only ever voted for one of these party's?? because it has always been family tradition. Is it bred into us to only vote a certain way,?? Because our mums and dads did. H'mmmmm, food for thought.  

  For all those who have knowledge of (Lawn bowls) We're in the middle of our Pennant's season,and today we received a "happy shock".There are 3 teams in each grade,and we beat the old club record of a 99 win against the opponent,by coming in with a 111 win against ours. The old record has been standing for 8 years. To top it off,my team of 4 players won our game by a slashing margin of 63 to 10. Don't get me wrong,for these guys we played,were not disgraced. They just did not have that margin of luck that is needed when you bowl.

 Anyway,let's move on to a bit of humour and philosophy.

 "I have learnt,>>>That the easiest way to grow as a person,is to surround myself with people who are wiser than I am.. So now a bit of humour wont go astray,so here goes.

FEMALE PRAYER

Before I lay me down to sleep,
I pray for a man, who's not a creep,
One who's handsome, smart and strong.
One who loves to listen long,
One who thinks before he speaks,
One who'll call, not wait for weeks.
I pray he's gainfully employed,
When I spend his cash, won't be annoyed.
Pulls out my chair and opens my door,
Massages my back and begs to do more.
Oh! Send me a man who'll make love to my mind,
Knows when to answer to "How big is my behind?"
I pray that this man will love me to no end,
And always be my very best friend.
Amen.

MALE PRAYER

I pray for a deaf-mute nymphomaniac with huge boobs
who owns a liquor store and a golf course. This
doesn't rhyme and I don't give a crap.
Amen

  Hi you viewers, no need to make a comment,but if you want to,to get to know me,make one and I sure will answer you."Break the ice" so to speak.Anyway enjoy the jokes. Keith.

A Blonde's Year in Review 

January 
Took new scarf back to store because it was too tight. 

February 
Fired from pharmacy job for failing to print labels..... 
Helllloooo!!!.......bottles won't fit in printer !!! 

March 
Got really excited.....finished jigsaw puzzle in 6 months..... Box said "2-4 years!" 

April 
Trapped on escalator for hours .... Power went out!!! 

May 
Tried to make Kool-Aid.....wrong instructions....8 cups of 
Water won't fit into those little packets!!! 

June 
Tried to go water skiing......couldn't find a lake with a slope. 

July 
Lost breast stroke swimming competition.....learned later, 
The other swimmers cheated, they used their arms!!! 

August 
Got locked out of my car in rain storm..... Car swamped because soft-top was open. 

September 
The capital of California is "C".....isn't it??? 

October 
Hate M & M's.....they are so hard to peel. 

November 
Baked turkey for 4 1/2 days .. Instructions said 1 hour per pound and I weigh 108!! 

December 
Couldn't call 911 . "duh".....there's no "eleven" button on the stupid phone!!!

THE BEST BLONDE JOKE OF THE YEAR -

A man was in his front yard mowing grass when his attractive blonde female neighbor came out of the house and went straight to the mailbox. 

She opened it then slammed it shut and stormed back in the house. 

A little later she came out of her house again went to the mail box and again, opened it, slammed it shut again. Angrily, back into the house she went. 

As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, here she came out again, marched to the mail box, opened it and then slammed it closed harder than ever. 

Puzzled by her actions the man asked her, "Is something wrong?" 

To which she replied, "There certainly is!" 

(Are you ready? This is a beauty...)

"My stupid computer keeps saying,

"YOU'VE GOT MAIL!"

 CAN COLD WATER CLEAN YOUR DISHES?

  Have a read and a laugh,and keep smiling,CIAO,for now>>>Keith

Can Cold Water Clean Dishes?

This is for all the germ conscious folks that worry about using cold water to clean.

John went to visit his 90 year old grandfather in a very secluded, rural area of? Saskatchewan .

After spending a great evening chatting the night

away, The next morning John's grandfather prepared breakfast of bacon, eggs and toast.

?

However, John noticed a film like substance on his plate, and questioned his grandfather asking,

?

'Are these plates clean?'

His grandfather replied,

?

'They're as clean as cold water can get em. Just you go ahead and finish your meal, Sonny!'

For lunch the old man made hamburgers. Again, John was concerned about the plates as his appeared to have tiny specks around the edge that looked like dried egg and asked,

?

'Are you sure these plates are clean?'

Without looking up the old man said,

?

'I told you before, Sonny, those dishes are as clean as cold water can get them. Now don't you fret, I don't want to hear another word about it!'

Later that afternoon, John was on his way to a nearby town and as he was leaving, his grandfather's dog started to growl, and wouldn't let him pass.

John yelled and said,

'Grandfather, your dog won't let me get to my car'.

Without diverting his attention from the football game he was watching on TV, the old man shouted.

'Coldwater, go lay down now, yah hear me!'

Meet Coldwater...............

?

Have a fabulous STRESS FREE day!

  Test your perception and knowledge on these if your game,me!I'm a bit of a dumb bum,as I only got two right.He,He. Anyway,have a go,if your game.

  Dementia  Quiz 

Below are four (4) questions and a Bonus question  to test your perception, reasoning and the quickness of your logical processing.
They are stated simply so you should try to answer them instantly.  
To assure the accuracy of the results, you  should not take your time , but instead, answer each of them immediately.  
 
OK?  
 

Let's find out just how clever you really are.....

Ready? GO!!! (scroll down slowly to uncover Q's and A's )

First Question :

You are a participant in a race. You overtake the second person. What position are you in?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<

Answer : If you answered that you are first, then you are absolutely WRONG! If you overtake the second person and you take his place, YOU are in second place!

Try not to screw up next time. Now answer the second question, but don't take as much time as you took for the first question, OK?

Second Question :
I f you overtake the last person, then you are...?

(scroll down)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Answer : If you answered that you are second to last, then you are  ; ; ; ;WRONG again. Tell me Sunshine, how can you overtake the LAST person??

You're not very good at this, are you?

Third Question 

:
Very tricky arithmetic! Note: This must be done in your head only. Do NOT use paper and pencil or a calculator.

Try it.

Take 1000 and add 40 to it. Now add another 1000 Now add 30 . Add another 1000 . Now add 20 . Now add another 1000 . Now add 10 . What is the total?

Scroll down for the correct answer.....

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Did you get 5000 ?

The correct answer is actually 4100 ..

If you don't believe it, check it with a calculator!

 Today is definitely not your day, is it ?  
 
Maybe you'll get the last question right... Maybe... 

Fourth Question:

Mary's father has fi ve daughters: 1. Nana, 2. Nene, 3. Nini,  4. Nono, and ???  What is the name of the fifth daughter?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Did you Answer Nunu? NO! Of course it isn't.
Her name is Mary you retard! Read the question again!

Okay, now the Bonus round,
i.e., a final chance to

redeem yourself:

A mute person goes into a shop and wants to buy a toothbrush. By imitating the action of brushing his teeth he successfully expresses himself to the shopkeeper and the purchase is done..
Next, a blind man comes into the shop who wants to buy a pair of sunglasses; how does HE indicate what he wants?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It's really very simple 

He opens his mouth and ask for it...

Does your employer actually pay you to think??

If so Do NOT let them see your answers for this test!

PASS TH IS  ON TO FRUSTRATE THE
SMART PEOPLE IN YOUR LIFE!
Have a nice day, one and all.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Enjoy a better web experience. Upgrade to the new Internet Explorer 8 optimised for Yahoo!7. Get it now..

 I heard this joke the other day,and just had to share it with others
to brighten your day up.
  During a revival meeting,the evangelist invited people in need to
the stage."Brother,"he said to the first respondent,"what is your
need?"
"My hearing" the man replied.
 The evangelist stuck his finger in the man's ear and prayed.
 "how's your hearing now?"he asked.
 "I don't know,"the man replied."It's not until next Tuesday.
  This panic that is going on about this (Swine Flue) may not
be such a bad thing,if it gets rid of a few politicians,who
are known to have their (Snouts) stuck in the trough,Hyuk,Hyuk.

The boat people who are now coming into the country in droves,seem
to have a small band of "Knuckle Heads" who throw their arms open to
welcome them,with bleeding heart statements like," how would you like
to live in their country and go through what they have."(BooHoo,!Sob,
and tear their hair out) Well guess what "Sunshine's"I wouldn't.But at
the same time I can't tolerate these apparently well off "Slimy slugs"
who jump the queue.They're no different than the selfish mongrels
who try to (STEAL) your place on the taxi rank,or the check out
queue
  When you look at these countries,the average person who comes from
there cannot afford the price these Queue jumpers pay the smugglers,
around the $5000 mark,and as high as $15000.So where do these slugs
get their money from.It would be interesting to know,Rich uncles,or
maybe a bit of illegal stuff.
 Last but not least on this subject,if the Australian Government
immigration program allows for only 150.000 for the year 2009,and
4000 of these slugs push in,does that mean that 4000 genuine
applicants of the 150.000 will miss out,or are they classified as
excess baggage.
 Who knows.

  I'm not sure how many of you bloggers have heard this song,but a few of the radio stations,here in Sydney play it now and again. Hope you enjoy it,as it relates to a few kids I know,including my nephew.

 Well how does it feel with winter just around the corner,BRRRRRR!!,Easter is over,and the next thing that is a long way off,is the old Christmas. In the mean time we've got to get through winter. I should be able to handle it better this year,as I've put the weight back on and I now only 10 Kilo under what I was last year before I had the Radiation and Chemo treatment. Last winter I weighed in at 83 kilo.20 kilo less than normal,and boy I froze. I tried to give up smoking in January,but still haven't fully succeeded,but on the brighter side of it,I'm down to  cig's a day. (1) at lunch time,and (1) at Tea time.I have these in 2 Puff spasm's over a period of one hour. So I really relish this moment,coming down from (50) a day .

 Anyway,here's a bit of humour for you lot to get you through the mid week crisis.

 ubject: The Stone
     

Joe passed away. His will provided $30,000 for an elaborate funeral. As the last guests departed the affair, his wife, Helen turned to her oldest friend.

"Well, I'm sure Joe would be pleased," she said.

"I'm sure you're right," replied Jody, who lowered her voice and leaned in close. "How much did this really cost?"

"All of it," said Helen. "Thirty thousand."

"No!" Jody exclaimed. "I mean, it was very nice, but $30,000?"

Helen answered. "The funeral was $6,500. I donated $500 to the church. The wake, food and drinks were another $500. The rest went for the memorial stone."

Jody computed quickly. "$22,500 for a memorial stone? My God, how big is it?!"

"Two and a half carats."

  So having said that,and done my bit of humour I'll'see you all, and catch you along the way. Keith.  

  Friday isn't Friday without a couple of bits of humour to start
the weekend.Not much has been happening here,but I would say that
is a good sign.Just wondering if anyone else has had the symptoms
that I've been experiencing since I had the Radiation treatment
on my throat last year?.The skin on my nose,forehead and around
my eyes,has gone very dry and flaky,and I have to rub cream into
it at least twice a day.Anyway that's enough whinging,I forgot
it's Friday,so here's a bit of humour to see you off.
 
  (1) You can depend on a rabbit's foot for luck if you want,but
remember it didn't work for the rabbit.

  (2)If Joan of Arc could turn the tide of an entire war before
her 18TH birthday,how come today's teenagers can't even get out
of bed to go to school.
As a matter of fact,raising children is like being taken into
a hostage situation by a bunch of "midget" terrorists.

  (3) Do you want to know what it means when if you feel a tigers
nose,and it feels wet. It means that it will probably be the last
thing that you do on this earth. Yuk Yuk.
 
  (4) This one should get a smile from grotty. Barry calls his
boss and says,"I wont be in today,as I'm having trouble with my
eyes."
 Boss says,"what's wrong with them ?"
 "I can't (see) myself coming in to work today."Says Barry.

 (5) This one had me laughing.>>During military war games,an
officer's jeep got stuck in mud.Seeing some men under tree's
nearby,he asked them to help him to get the vehicle going.
"Sorry sir'said one soldier"but we've been classified dead
so we're not allowed to move,or take part in anything."
The officer turned to his driver and said,"Go and drag a
couple of those dead bodies over here and throw them under
the wheels to give us some traction."
   

  Hi! Mandy,just letting you know that you have an error on your page that doesn't allow me to comment.If any one else is having problems on Mandy's blog. Leave your comment's here.

   Anyway Mandy,I hope you have a nice Easter,and manage to sort this school thing out after the holidays.

 See you Chook.

Well,now you see me,and in one day I'll be gone from the pages, so
to speak.Well,this is the best we can expect from the "(old)" worn
out decrepit Big pond. He He. Never mind.
  What I'm wondering is,how many more years will it be,before the
two big events in our Christian based society are challenged.And
the two I'm speaking of are Christmas and Easter.As sad and frightening
as I'm making it appear,it is going to be a forgone conclusion in
the near future,with the Governments,both Liberal and Labor
"spearheading' our social structure toward this anti-climax,with the
immigration of every ethnic based religions in the world being allowed
and encouraged to come here under our (multi,Culture) scheme.
 As we have more and more settling here, and gathering strength in
their numbers ,it is only natural, that they will demand,not ask,to
have holidays in recognition of their Holy days. And if not,(Scrub
the Christian ones) so that all who live in Australia can be equal.
 Now, Myself!!! Not being religious to any great point,will benefit
 from this fiasco,with all these new holidays that have to be
implemented to please everyone. He,He Chuckle. (Oh!! what a tangled
web,we allow these idiots who Govern for us weave) LOL.
 See you ,and take care over the Easter holidays,Keith.

  Being a old time Wag, and an ex-butcher,I often reflect on those who profess to be Vegetarians,and please don't get me wrong.As I fully support these people.I've heard people call them "screwballs" and such,and as quick as I hear these people running down our (vegetarian) friends,I'm there to defend their way of life,and choice.As a matter of fact I'll fight "tooth and nail" to defend their beliefs.

 I can just hear the main stream traffic saying "Yeh,Yeh,Ye're" and nodding their heads knowingly.But believe me,I will defend them. You may ask,.Why is a carnivorous,Homo-Sapient going to the defence of people who are a bit different than 75% of the population.

 Well,Okay!! If you haven't guessed by now,I'm an ex-butcher and I'm being very selfish,because the more humans who compete with the horses and cows there are,the less demand there will be on meat products. Can you imagine in 20 years if we can convert 75% of the population to vegetarianism,how cheap the lamb chop will be. He He.

 Anyway,I've had my say,so here's a fairy tale that some of you may have heard,but I still think it is a Gem.So enjoy it,and don't be afraid to comment on the above.Even if it's only to call me a "dickhead".

  This is the story of Rindercella and her sugly isters.
 
Rindercella and her sugly isters lived in a marge lansion. Rindercella
Worked very hard frubbing sloors, emptying poss pits, and shivelling
Shot.
 
At the end of the day, she was knucking fackered.
 
The sugly isters were right bugly astards. One was called Mary Hinge,
And the other was called Betty Swallocks; they were really forrible
Huckers;they had fetty sweet and fetty swannies. The sugly isters had
Tickets to go to the ball, but the cotton runts would not let
Rindercella go.
 
Suddenly there was a bucking fang, and her gairy fodmother appeared.
Her name was Shairy Hithole and she was a light rucking fesbian. She
Turned a pumpkin and six mite wice into a hucking cuge farriage with
Six dandy ronkeys who had buge hollocks and dig bicks
 
The gairy fodmother told Rindercella to be back by dimnlight otherwise,
 
There would be a cucking falamity.
 
At the ball, Rindercella was dancing with the prandsome hince when
Suddenly the clock struck twelve. "Mist all chucking frighty!!!" said
Rindercella, and she ran out tripping barse over ollocks, so dropping
Her slass glipper.
 
The very next day the prandsome hince knocked on Rindercella's door and
The sugly isters let him in. Suddenly, Betty Swallocks lifted her leg
And let off a fig Bart. "Who's fust jarted??" asked
The prandsome hince.
"Blame that fugly ucker over there!!" said Mary Hinge. When the
Stinking brown cloud had lifted, he tried the slass glipper on both the
 
Sugly isters without success and their feet stucking funk.
 
Betty Swallocks was ducking fisgusted and gave the prandsome hince a
Knack in the kickers. This was not difficult as he had bucking fuge
Halls and a hig bard on.
 
He tried the slass glipper on Rindercella and it fitted pucking
Ferfectly.
 
Rindercella and the prandsome hince were married. The pransome hince
Lived his life in lucking fuxury, and Rindercella lived hers with a
Follen swanny.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 
 
 
 

  True   Friendship  "Aussie Style--"  None of that Sissy Crap

Are you tired of those piss weak 'friendship' poems that always sound good, but never actually come close to reality?

Well, here is a series of promises that actually speak of true friendship.

You will see no cute little smiley faces on this card --  Just the stone cold truth of a great friendship.

1. When you are sad --  I will help you get hammered and plot revenge against the bastard who made you sad.

2. When you are blue -- I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.

3. When you smile -- I will know you are thinking of something that I would probably want to be involved in.

4. When you are scared -- I will tease you about it every chance I get until you're NOT.

5.... When you are worried -- I will tell you stories about how much worse it could be until you stop whingeing.

6.... When you are confused -- I will try to use only little words..

7... When you are sick --  Stay the hell away from me until you are well again.  I don't want whatever you have.

8. When you fall -- I will laugh at your clumsy arse, but I'll help you up.

9. This is my oath.... I pledge it to the end. 'Why?' you may ask;

because you are my friend.

Friendship is like pissing your pants, everyone can see it, but only you can feel the true warmth.

 I just thought I would throw this one in, Hope you lot enjoy it as much as I did.

 Let me know if you did enjoy it> >>Keith.

  Well,! I'm not going to hold my breath,but it looks like there
maybe some sort of light at the end of the tunnel.My blog seems
to have become unfrozen,after nearly 3 weeks of having one page
only,frozen on the 6th March.
  I guess my thoughts are like most people,that I'm getting
pretty fed up with both of the governments and their allowing 
the outsourcing of a lot of our mainstream jobs.To add insult to
injury these same governments who were voted in to represent the
majority,are also guilty of outsourcing a number of jobs to
overseas Asia.
  Now if they want to win favour of the voter and at the same
time outsource some of their expenses to over seas "Cheap labour"
why don't they send our prison system over to Malaysia.Think of
the savings to the (taxpayer). Prison guards at $10.00 a day,and no
food expenses.If they escape,where can they go. He He.
 Anyway,time for a bit of light candor,I hope you like it.

  A/>>Light travels faster than sound.This is why some people
appear bright until you hear them speak.

  B/>>I did not hit you---I mearly high-fived your face.
 
  C/>>We'll be old friends until we become senile.Then,we
will become new friends.

  D/>>Try and handle stress like a dog,>>If you can't eat or hump
it,pis on it and walk away.

 See you, Keith.(ponder-osa)

  I'm posting this blog to see what is happening. You see my blog view page has been frozen since last Friday,so that I can't view recent blogs. If nothing works,then I won't be able to view this ubless I go to my blog.

 I've just about run out of patients with these Telstra,big blog mob. I'm using the computer less and less. I can't wait until my contract comes up in September to get back to the real world of reading and scratching my piles. He He. Going cheap,one computer ,hardly used(Big Pond Member)

 Any way!! now that I've had my bitch,Mandy,your trouble that Krystal is having.Undiagnosed,I come across this and it might be worth a read,probably not related,but worth some thought.So take the time girl's to read this. >>>BYE.

  5 Mar 2009

Around 1% of the Australian population has coeliac disease. Currently fewer that one in five has been diagnosed. Up to 200,000 Australians have coeliac disease and don't know it.

Coeliac disease is the result of an autoimmune response which means that the body produces antibodies that attack its own tissues. This autoimmune response is triggered by eating gluten: a protein found in wheat, rye, barley and oats.

In undiagnosed coeliac disease you may see:

 Unexplained anaemia
 Nutritional deficiencies such as iron, folate or B12
 Fatigue
 Gastrointestinal disturbance such as flatulence, abdominal distention, diarrhoea and/or constipation
 Nausea and vomiting
 Unintentional weight loss
 Delayed growth or delayed general development in children
 Headaches
 Liver problems
 Multiple unexplained fractures
 Irritability or failure to concentrate
 Education outcomes that are not as good as they might be
You have a higher risk of having coeliac disease if you have:

 A family history of coeliac disease
 Type 1 diabetes
 Unexplained osteoporosis
 Infertility or multiple miscarriages

The starting point is getting diagnosed

Coeliac blood screening tests can be ordered by your GP. To correctly diagnose or exclude the possibility of coeliac disease a small bowel biopsy is essential. This procedure is normally done by a gastroenterologist. It is important that a gluten free diet is NOT started prior to diagnostic testing as investigations whilst on a gluten free diet can result in false negative results and may delay the diagnosis of another condition with similar symptoms.

The good news is that coeliac disease can be treated

After the removal of gluten from the diet, the damage that has occurred to the small intestinal lining steadily repairs.

Success stories

The Coeliac Society represents individuals with coeliac disease in Australia and has been successful in:

 Lobbying, which has resulted in one of the world's best food labelling standards
 The provision of excellent resources and support for those diagnosed
 Prompt dissemination of new research findings
Challenges:

 To improve the diagnostic rate
 To fund support for coeliac patients as well as research
 To educate the medical and catering industry

Australia has world leaders in coeliac research

Exciting research is taking place in Melbourne, led by Dr Robert Anderson PhD FRACP, which is focused on the development of a coeliac vaccine that would target the disease-causing T cells that are reacting to the toxic fragments of gluten to make them gluten ‘tolerant'.

What a difference a diagnosis makes

Charlotte became ill in July 2006. At first it seemed that she was suffering from a bad gastro bug and was hospitalised for dehydration. Whereas most kids bounce back quickly from these bouts of illness, Charlotte remained sick for months with vomiting and diarrhoea most days. She would not sleep longer than a couple of hours at night, either waking up screaming and unable to be settled, or else she would start to gag in her sleep followed by projectile vomit.

The paediatrician diagnosed Charlotte's illness as behavioural and prescribed 'behaviour modification therapy'. Being labelled a behavioural case made it harder to get a correct diagnosis.

Charlotte's mum came in contact with a wonderful paediatric nurse, who agreed with her that Charlotte's symptoms were not behavioural and encouraged her to follow her instincts until an answer is found. Eventually they got to see a paediatric gastroenterologist at the Children's Hospital who immediately suspected coeliac disease. After a blood test, endoscopy and biopsy they had the diagnosis within a week.

Unfortunately by this time Charlotte was malnourished and had stopped walking, crawling, and had become socially withdrawn. Her little body was so wasted except for her huge distended tummy. It was heartbreaking to think she had suffered over such a common disease. The relief of finally being listened to, taken seriously, and getting a diagnosis that is so manageable was overwhelming. Charlotte is now doing amazingly well, catching up on her walking, talking and busily exploring her world.

(Source: The Coeliac Society of Australia: March 2009)

Related Diseases
Coeliac Disease (Gluten-Sensitive Enteropathy, Coeliac Sprue)
Related Articles:

  The pets that you seem to attract throughout your life even when
you're not looking for one.For those of you who are wondering what
I'm on about here,I'm talking about those little creatures of the
wild,who for reasons only known to them come wandering into our
homes to set up camp,until like an unwanted relative;we show them
the door.
  Today was no exception in our household,for the past two days we
have been aware of this young "Blue tongue lizard",who has taken up
residence in the spare room,only venturing out for a snack on the
dogs vast array of nibbles that we put out for him(the him mentioned
is the dog,not Bluey) or quaff from the water bowl that seems to be
there for the convenience of all the little wild animals that care
to venture through the "Doggy door"
  His discovery was only revealed when Jan noticed him sun baking on
the kitchen floor and alerted me about it.It took another two days
to round the "little shit" up,but I was on the computer,placing a reply
to Mandy's post,when Jan called out.So I put on my best cave man
face of the tribal hunter,while Jan quickly adapted the roll of the
Tribal gatherer and cook,and watched at a safe distance over by the
phone.(just in case I was injured during the hunt)so that she could
contact other tribe members in case I was injured. (very thoughtful
of her)
   Anyway after about 3 or 4 minutes of herding him into a corner,I
managed to catch the (slippery little sucker)and take him outside
where We felt he belonged.The only injury that I sustained,was a bite
on the thumb joint,and a handful of "Lizard shit" Yes they all seem to
do that when handled. I guess it's their way of showing their full
appreciation for being treated like a relative,who has outstayed
their welcome. 

  Although politics is not a great subject to get in discussion over,has anyone one else noticed how we have what seems like a two tier system as in the people out there. In one section is what seems to border very closely to socialism,where those who are less fortunate, and also those who choose not to have jobs,are looked after by the rest of the population by means of the social security. And then on the other hand we have what is known as Capitalism,where these people don't care who they hurt or trample,as long as they can make unrealistic amounts of wealth,to feed their vast EGO'S.

 Moving away from the politics,,we were down at the Bowls Club for the Sunday meat raffle, and they have a once a month bonus prize. With a bit of luck and a lot of surprise, Jan won a washing machine. We now have three machines now, Does that make us asset rich?,Maybe!!  I suppose I was lucky in my own way that a Bowling friends wife asked if I knew anyone who was interested in buying off her a exercise walker. I had been tossing it over in my mind for a few weeks now as too whether I should buy one,so that solved that problem.HE HE. It turns out that her knees were starting to give out on her,and the machine was just sitting there,waiting for me to come along.

   Anyway see you all and DEI GRATIA (by the grace of God) we'll be here again next week.  

  A lot of water has passed under the bridge since the conviction and release of Lindy Chamberlain. And this set me to wondering,how come in this day and age,,why no one has bothered,,or if they have done anything. why!!hasn't anyone informed the public on their findings?.

 When the N.T.government released (Lindy Chamberlain) it was because of lack of substantial evidence,and if I'm to believe,,the case was never closed. Now where I come into this with my ponderings,,is with DNA, surely they can do tests on the "matinee jacket" or any other thing involved to ascertain the truth. Surely it would be in every ones interest to lay this to rest. Until then, I Wonder.

  One joke, I hope it gives you a chuckle.

  Twelve priests were about to be ordained.
 The final test was for them to line up in a straight row, totally nude, in
 a garden while a sexy, big breasted, nude model danced before them.
  Each priest had a bell attached to his willy and they were told that anyone
 whose bell rang when she danced in front of them, would not be
 ordained because he had not reached a state of spiritual purity.
 The model danced before the first candidate, with no reaction. She
 proceeded down the line with the same response from all the priests until
 she got to the final priest, Carlos.
 As she danced, his bell began to ring so loudly that it flew off and fell
 clattering to the ground.
 Embarrassed, Carlos took a few steps forward and bent to pick it up.
 Then all the other bells started ringing .

  The idea of stimulating the economy where the government gives us borrowed money,that has a strong possibility of coming from China,to spend and buy products that will stimulate the economy leaves me wondering. How will it help Australia if the items we buy come from overseas. Maybe we should only go to (Garage Sales) in the neighborhood  to be sure the money stays in Australia. He HE.

 I get this uncomfortable feeling that (THE) governments are selling us out to overseas concerns,I wonder why?.Maybe we should all start to learn Chinese or whatever,so that we can fit in to the future the (GOVERNMENTS) have planned for us." I just don't know".

 A little bit of humour for you,to maybe put a "smile on your dial"

 A couple visiting the cattle pavilion at the Royal Easter Show saw a sign reading "This bull mated 150 times last year".The wife nudged her husband and said."That's 3 times a week,you could learn a lot from him".

 The next pen had a sign saying "this bull mated 365 times last year".The wife nudges her husband again,and says."That's once a day,you could really learn a lot from him".

 Her husband comes back with,"Ask him if it's always the same cow he does it with.

                           NEXT

 When this wealthy man passed away. His will provided $30,000 for an elaborate funeral. As the last guests departed the affair, his wife, Helen turned to her oldest friend.

"Well, I'm sure Joe would be pleased," she said.

"I'm sure you're right," replied Jody, who lowered her voice and leaned in close. "How much did this really cost?"

"All of it," said Helen. "Thirty thousand."

"No!" Jody exclaimed. "I mean, it was very nice, but $30,000?"

Helen answered. "The funeral was $6,500. I donated $500 to the church. The wake, food and drinks were another $500. The rest went for the memorial stone."

Jody computed quickly. "$22,500 for a memorial stone? My God, how big is it?!"

"Two and a half carats."

------------------------------

    I've got to go, but here's a parting thought for you.

I have learnt,I can be right when I argue with the missus,or I can be happy if I'm Wrong. He HE,  

 Why do women love cats?,men are not "purr-fect",BUT CATS!.
The old cat is independent,they don't listen,they don't come when
called,they like to stay out all night and when they are at home
they like to be left alone to sleep.
 When it's all boiled down,Every quality' that women hate in men
they absolutely love in cats. (ENVIOUS) no,not at all,who me.HE HE.

  Oh well,that's life!but I've got to tell you this,we were broken
into last Wednesday night,by a supposed burglar.Now I know what
your next question will be,did he get anything,? well yes;to be
truthful,he got a broken arm,dislocated shoulder,a mouthful of
broken teeth and other numerous cuts and scratches.
 You see,it happened at 1am and the wife thought it was me trying
to sneak in.Now I'm a compassionate type of bloke,so I've been up
to the hospital to visit this poor bastard,and offer him some
good advise, "CRIME DOESN'T PAY"
 Take care and hope you enjoyed a bit of lite hearted reading.
  Cheers, Keith.

I just had this sent to me,so I thought I would share it.

 Proof that the World is Nuts 
 

In Lebanon, men are legally allowed to have sex with animals, but the animals must be female. Having sexual relations with a male animal is punishable by death. 

(Like THAT makes sense.)
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

In Bahrain, a male doctor may legally examine a woman's genitals, but is prohibited from looking directly at them during the examination. He may only see their reflection in a mirror.

(Do they look different reversed?)
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Muslims are banned from looking at the genitals of a corpse. This also applies to undertakers. The sex organs of the deceased must be covered with a brick or piece of wood at all times.

(A brick?)
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

The penalty for masturbation in Indonesia is decapitation.

(Much worse than 'going blind!')
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

There are men in Guam whose full-time job is to travel the countryside and deflower young virgins, who pay them for the privilege of having sex for the first time.
Reason: under Guam law, it is expressly forbidden for virgins to marry.

(Let's just think for a minute; is there

any job anywhere else in the world that even comes close to this?)
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

In Hong Kong, a betrayed wife is legally allowed to kill her adulterous husband, but may only do so with her bare hands.
The husband's illicit lover, on the other hand, may be killed in any manner desired.

(Ah! Justice!)
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Topless saleswomen are legal in Liverpool,  England  - but only in tropical fish stores.

(But of course!)
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

In Cali, Colombia, a woman may only have sex with her husband, and the first time this happens, her mother must be in the room to witness the act.

(Makes one shudder at the thought.)
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

In Santa Cruz,  Bolivia, it is illegal for a man to have sex with a woman and her daughter at the same time.

(I presume this was a big enough problem that they had to pass this law?)
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

In Maryland, it is illegal to sell condoms from vending machines with one exception: Prophylactics may be dispensed from a vending machine only 'in places where alcoholic beverages are sold for consumption on the premises.'

(Is the USA a great country or what?

Well, not as great as Guam!)
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour.

(Who volunteers for these tests?)
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

The ant can lift 50 times its own weight, can pull 30 times its own weight and always falls over on its right side when intoxicated.

(From drinking little bottles of???)

(Did our government pay for this research??)
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Butterflies taste with their feet.

(Ah, geez.)
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.

(I know some people like that.)
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Starfish don't have brains.

(I know some people like that, too.)
*~*~ *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

And, the best for last?

Turtles can breathe through their butts.

(And I thought I had bad breath in the morning!)

Thank you all for reading this, if you need to reach me in the future I will be in Guam !!!!!!

  Haven't posted for a while,but thought ,what the heck,why not. Do you remember Bev,who always had a kind word and a joke for everyone. She has not been able to blog since Dec 8 for reasons only known to the Pond, she would like to say hello to everybody,and hopes to get back on here in the not to distant future. Bev ask me to relay on a special thanks to David,for all his advise,and I'm sure she will tell you all about it David,when she is back on here.

 I haven't been very active on here lately,but I still manage to get in and have a look at your posts,even if I don't manage a comment,I'm still here reading and keeping up to date on all the news. Here's a funny,to give you a laugh,and beat off Monday itis.

 Subject: FW: Mid-Life Crisis
>
>Should any of you need this...it is a good reminder.
>
>
>
>After being married for many years, I took a careful look at my wife
>one day and said, 'Honey, many years ago we had a cheap apartment, a
>cheap  car, slept on a sofa bed and watched a 10-inch black and white TV,
>but
>I got to sleep every night with a hot 22-year-old gal.
>
>Now I have a $500,000.00 home, a $45,000.00 car, nice big bed and
>plasma screen TV, but I'm sleeping with a 63-year-old woman. It seems
>to me that you're not  holding up your side of things.
>
>My wife is a very reasonable woman. She told me to go out and find
>a hot 22-year-old gal, and she would make sure that I would once again
>be living in a cheap apartment, driving a cheap car, sleeping on a
>sofa bed and watching a 10-inch black and white TV.
>
>Aren't older women great? They really know how to solve a mid-life crisis...
>

  I'll work in reverse today,and have a bit of humour first and blog
second. I asked my favourite barmaid how would she define women,and 
this is what she wrote down for me.
 
 Cats and Women

1) Cats do what they want.
2) They rarely listen to you.
3) They're totally unpredictable.
4) They whine when they are not happy.
5) When you want to play, they want to be alone.
6) When you want to be alone, they want to play.
7) They expect you to cater to their every whim.
8) They're moody.
9) They leave hair everywhere.
10) They drive you nuts and cost an arm and a leg.

Conclusion: They're tiny little women in cheap fur coats.
 
  Now I'll get on with my blog,that has to do with the amount of time
we spend in lines,or just waiting about,so that we can hand over our
money that we have just spent 40hrs or more a week earning.
  I used to be under the delusion that if you had money,you dictated the
terms."Boy was I wrong"
  First;if you want a product,what do you do? you line up somewhere to
hand over your money in exchange for it.Usual time for this one is 10
 minutes.Now you spend 10 to 20 minutes getting home,and if there is
something not right with the product,you reverse the procedure to
exchange (THEIR Faulty PRODUCT).This is where I think we go wrong,Why
are we chasing around after these bums?who sold us the shoddy product
in the first place. "That's a good hour of your life wasted" and your
not being paid to stand around like them.
  The next on my time wasters is the Doctors and chemists.Your appointment
is for 10.30 AM,and you're out of there by 10.50 AM at the latest,Ho!Ho!Ha!
Ha!,not likely my pretty one.How does 11.30 to 12.PM sound,Ah yes,that's
better.So now your off to the Chemist to wait another 10 to 15 minutes for
the prescription to be made up so that you can pay more money out.
  I could probably go on here for ages,but I won't take up your valuable
time.LOL. But the question I would like to ask,is.So how come,we're the ones
with the money,And why are we paying servitude to those who want it?
  Catch you next time. 

  How are you at predicting the weather.We listen to the news and
weather forecasts,and try to plan our daily events around them.I
think their strike rate at accuracy is about 60% to 70%,give or
take a few spits of rain.
  Aside from all that,mother nature has a pretty good system,with
the Kookaburra's laughing,or Ants building their nests up higher
just prior to the event of rain.And don't forget Uncle Pete's
"Corns"that play up.Out in the Country the Farmer himself,relies
on Mother nature to warn him of any changes that maybe due.
  So,what other signs do you maybe know of,that help to tell
us of any changes coming.

    Have you seen those "Aussie Outback Weather stations" It's a
piece of string on a board,that you place out side.And if the
string is curling-----HOT
 "      "     Wet-----Raining
 "      " Hard to see-Foggy
 "      " White  -----Snowing
 "      " Smoking-----Bush fires or lightening
 "      " Swinging----Windy
 "      "    Still----Not windy
 "      " Missing-----Cyclone or stolen 

   Cheers everyone.

To all the readers out there on the Big Pond Blog pages,I would like
to say a "BIG THANKS".--WHY!,you may ask is Pondy saying this?.Well
I've just spent an hour going through some of my old sites,But first
I'd like to apologize to the few who I did not answer.That was a
really entertaining hour,reading your comments.
  Some of them were serious,but most were light hearted and witty,
depending on the subject.It was like rereading a good book the
second time around.What stood out the most,were the diverse and
often funny comments by everyone.So once again,A "BIG THANKS"
  Before I go,What are your opinions on successful blogging?,
I myself feel that it should be kept short and as light as you can
possibly make it,so as to hold the readers attention.I've noticed
that some contributors seem to place the same subject on these pages
over and over again,examples are,E.G.The Weather,Science,Themselves,
and SEX,(Sassy) "take heed you horny little devil",He He.And the
comments become less and less,as the reader becomes accustomed to
what they are going to write. So maybe the secrete lies in keeping
your post entertaining and having a greater range of subjects.
 A bit of humour to see the day through,Keith.
 Some great ideas for bumper stickers

"If you can read this then I have lost my caravan."

"The more people I meet, the more I like my dog."

"I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather.... Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car...."

"I Brake For No Apparent Reason."

"No Radio - Already Stolen"

"If we aren't supposed to eat animals, why are they made of meat?"

"Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot."

"He who laughs last thinks slowest"

"Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else."

"Very funny, Scottie. Now beam down my clothes."

"Time is what keeps everything from happening at once."

"Laugh alone and the world thinks you're an idiot."

"Conserve toilet paper, use both sides."

  To Mandy and Kerry Beares,sorry about this,but I've reposted it again after that little bloop on the pages. It's no wonder Australians tell them to "piss off" back to where they come from. LOL.  They're what we call (Serial pests).

 And Kerry,Thanks for your comment,and you can certainly copy if you wish.

 Hi mandy

 As you said in your comment,your blogs I find are very good reading,and enjoyable.